RateWatch #230 - Who Made a Killing in the Market in 2000?

December 20, 2000
by Dick Lepre

What's Happening?

The FOMC met, held rates, and adopted a "recession is the big worry" rather than "inflation is the big worry" policy. Let's be clear - no one is seriously suggesting that we are about to have a recession. What has happened is that some requisites for recession are now in place. Corporate profits are hurting, equities are getting hammered, and corporate bonds are getting trashed.

Last year I wrote a Christmas poem called "E-commerce Meets Its Match." Therein, Santa, troubled by the possibility of competition from e-commerce faced and conquered the competition.

I present this year's installment in which it seems Mr. Claus may have gone a bit overboard regarding the competition. The results of this "jolly old elf's" actions may have had more far-reaching effects than realized. Read on.

Who Made a Killing in the Market in 2000?

T'was the night before Christmas
I was clicking my mouse
My wife, she was snoring
It was shaking the house

I has just closed my eyes
And was starting to nap
When upon my front door
There occurred a faint tap

My dog she ran down
Pushed the door with her paws
And there on my steps
It was Him, Santa Claus

He said not a word
Climbed the steps and sat down
What he then did confess
He did with a frown

"Just last year you did show me
This thing called the web
When I feared that my business
Was starting to ebb

You showed me my e-mail
And e-commerce yet slick
Fell victim to the magic
Of me, old St. Nick

I went back to the Pole
Studied those who'd compete
And made for myself
An Excel spreadsheet

I saw right through their plans
Which so many had bought
And knew what to do
Their stocks did I short

That which has happened
Can be blamed on the fates
For I now have more money
Than that man who's called Gates

My elves out in droves
It is they who now shiver
Eight thousand of them
The toys do deliver

But this is the thing
That I'm here to confess
For in your great country
We've made such a mess

For last spring on vacation
The eight thousand did go
From the pole to Miami
And wouldn't you know

They registered to vote
With a smile to trouble ya
As I now suspect
They all voted for Dubya"

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